Afraid to love
by WaterbendingTurtleLover
Summary: This is a TMNT,Kingdom Hearts crossover that I started a while back.
1. Raph to the rescue

**I know my usual disclaimers involve the guys but this is the only one I'm doing for this whole story just so that everyone knows;**

**I don't own TMNT or Kingdom Hearts so anything refferenced herein to either is strictly property of the establishments that created them.Other than that enjoy the story.****

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**

**Two of the three guys grab her arms so that she can't fight back.**

**"Well,what do we have here?"**

**Asks the leader of the group,running a hand under her chin.She glares at him as he inches closer to her.Just as he leans in towards her,he is yanked away along **

**with the other two. Next thing she knows she is lying on the ground, staring into a pair of eyes behind a red bandana.She blinks and they are gone as well as the**

**men who attacked her.Sitting up,she looks around,searching for anything that may point her in the direction of her rescuers.She hears the sound of metal**

**against the ground and turns in its direction.Feeling around for the source,her hand runs over a manhole cover.She knocks on it to hear the sound.It's the same**

**as she heard before so,using all her strength she lifts it.Once down the ladder she looks around for anything that may help in her search.A shadow catches the**

**corner of her eye and disappears.It seems to be much larger than a normal human shadow.She follows it around a corner and down the length of the **

**tunnel.Peaking around another corner she catches a glimpse of the shadow disappearing again.Quickly,she follows it down the length of a new tunnel.**

**Raph looks behind him,hearing a strange noise.**

**"Hey Raph,something wrong?"**

**"Nah, thought I heard something."**

**He continues behind the others headed home.Peaking around the corner where she hears voices, a door is closing.Quickly she rushes over to it and peaks**

**through a small crack, surprised at what she sees.Suddenly, someone's voice comes from behind her.**

**"Who ya lookin for?"**

**Her heart begins to race and she turns slowly to see a figure standing in the shadows, arms crossed and staring at her.**

**" the one who helped me."**

**"Why?"**

**She didn't know why,all she knew was that she had to find him.**

**"I'm not really sure."**

**"What makes you so interested in him?"**

**This was easy for her to answer.**

**" his eyes"**

**Raph nods.She peers into the darkness trying to make out an outline but it is difficult with little light to help her.**

**"Why do you hide?"**

**This question surprises Raph and he says the first thing he can think of.**

**"It's what I do"**

**Suddenly the door swings open and Donny, awestruck, sees her standing there.She looks at Donny in the doorway and backs up.Then she sees Raph as the**

**light from inside floods out.The first thing she notices are his eyes.**

**"You..."**

**She wispers and looks at Donny,still backing away from the door.Don steps out and she turns on her heel running.Donny tries to run after her but Raph stops him.**

**"It's ok,let her go."**

**"But,Raph,she knows where we are now.What if she comes back?"**

**"That's what I'm countin on."**

**Raph replies with a smirk as he and Don go back inside.She runs until she is almost out of breath,looking around to figure whether she is in the right place.**

**"If I go this way..."**

**She soon knows where she is, spotting a ray of light coming from above the manhole.Climbing up the ladder she soon realizes that she is on her home street.**

**"No way, this close, all along."**

**Climbing out of the sewer she crosses the street to her apartment.When she gets inside she heads straight for the bathroom to take a shower.Afterwards she**

**sits in her room,thinking about Raph.**

**"I have to see him again but, what if IT happens again..."**

**She thinks out loud.She decides to sleep on it and see how she feels in the morning. During the night she dreams of Raph repeatedly and when she finally**

**awakes her mind is made up.**

**"I'm going back,tomorrow night."**

**She says out loud,in a determined voice.**

**Meanwhile,Raphael sleeps soundly the whole night but,wakes earlier than usual. He can't seem to get her off of his mind either and figures she must be as**

**intrigued with him as he is with her,meaning she would return.He didn't know when,only that she would,and he would be waiting for her.He figures now might be**

**too obvious and decides to begin watching for her the next night.Un-beknownst to either of them,they were planning their next meeting.**

**The night comes sooner then either of them expect.Raph waits just as the darkness covers the sky and sure enough she arrives.**

**" So,...you're back."**

**He says,staring at her from the shadows. She recognizes his voice and acknowledges him.**

**"Yes,but, this is as far as I go."**

**"Why's that?"**

**He questions.**

**"Because,I came to see you."**

**He uncovers the manhole and begins to descend. She hears the cover being moved.**

**" Wait, why are you leaving?"**

**He stops a little ways down.**

**" If I intreague you so much, than follow me."**

**He answers. She was beginning to catch on to what he was doing,he wanted her to follow him and she did. When they were down the ladder Raph turned to look**

**at her. She searches in the shoulder bag she carries for a small utility flashlight. But,before she gets a chance to turn it on Raph takes her by the hand.**

**" I'll lead the way."**

**He says. And starts down the tunnel. As they walk she tries to start a conversation.**

**" I never got a chance to ask your name"**

**" It's Raph. what's yours?"**

**He asks,not looking back at her.**

**" Most people call me Shadow."**

**" Shadow huh?"**

**He says,letting the name roll off his tongue**

_**"That's ironic"**_

**He whispers, thinking of how he and his brothers have always had to hide in the shadows. They continue to walk the length of the tunnel until they come to the**

**door of the lair.**

**"Wait here"**

**Raph tells her as he opens the door and walks in,leaving her standing in the tunnel. Once inside the lair he walks up to Don, who is sitting at his usual**

**workbench, fiddling with who knows what invention he's cooked up this week.**

**" Hey Don, can I talk to ya for a sec?"**

**" Sure"**

**Don finishes tightening a single screw, gets up, and Raph leads him out of ear shot of the others.**

**" What's up Raph?"**

**Don asks curiously.**

**" It's that girl from the night before.She's here."**

**"What?!! what were you thinking Raph?"**

**" Ssshhh, keep it down will ya? I was thinkin, if you were right and she did decide to come back than I better do somethin incase she ends up bringin some**

**uninvited guests by accident."**

**Don couldn't argue with his logic, afterall Raph did have a point. So, he follows Raph out the door. Upon seeing Donny again, she hides behind Raph.**

**" It's ok, He ain't gonna bite."**

**She moves from behind him and stands in front of Don.**

**" Sorry if I scared you the other night. I'm Donny."**

**He says, extending his hand to her. Taking it, she introduces herself.**

**" I'm Shadow."**

**She returns,accepting his hand with her own and giving it a decent shake.**


	2. Introducing

**Well now,seems that this has been waiting to get updated and as I promised,SO SHALL IT BE!!!!**

**Welcome to chapter TWO.**

**Several days pass after that and she continues to stop by at night to see everyone. Finally she gets the chance to meet Leo and Mikey and of**

** course, Mikey takes to her right away. A few nights later,they invite her to stay over and at first,she is reluctant but, she gives after they**

** insist on it. During the night,she ends up causing quite a stir,when she wakes from a nightmare screaming. After explaining that this has **

**been happening for a long while, they decide that it would be better for her to stay with them until they can find a way to end the **

**nightmares and they "assign" Raph to watch over and stay by her through the attempting to sleep for a little while,Shadow opens her eyes **

**and finds herself beneath a single light, completely surrounded by pitch blackness. Quickly she addresses the reason she is there.**

**"Why do you drag me here Number Thirteen?"**

**Shadow asks angrily into the pitch black nothingness.**

**"You know I hate when you call me that."**

**Says a hooded figure, standing at the edge of the light. Shadow stands there staring into the darkness surrounding her. The figure slowly **

**steps under the light,pulling back the hood to reveal a woman whose features nearly match her own. The only differences are her scarlet **

**eyes and jet black hair. She stands there scowling at Shadow,her arms crossed.**

**"How many times are we gonna go through this?"**

**The woman asks,apparently annoyed with the situation.**

**"As many as it takes for you to leave me alone!!"**

**Shadow returns, seemingly just as frustrated and annoyed as her counterpart.**

**" You know that I would, if you would only give me what I want."**

**The woman replies reassuringly. Shadow crosses her arms and wears a scowl of her own but, says nothing. The woman sighs **

**exasperatedly.**

**"I see we'll be doing this the hard way, **_**again**_**." **

**At that, a set of weapons appears in the womans hands and she prepares to battle. At the same time,Shadow pulls the small key from her **

**neck and it transforms into a key shaped sword within her grasp. The two women take up their battle stances and begin lunging at one **

**another with their weapons. Shadow throwing her energy and strength into the sword and her counterpart throwing everything she's got **

**into the twin blades she wields. The sounds of metal fly around as the blades collide in attempt after attempt to overpower each other. As**

** their weapons connect, the two of them fight to pin the other beneath their weapon.**

**" You're strength is fading Shadow dear."**

**The woman says tauntingly, pushing Shadow back beneath the force of her twin blades. Shadow fights even harder and manages to push **

**her back. **

**"That's what **_**you**_** think, EXA."**

**At that Shadow swings the sword and breaks the tip off one of the twin blades. Glancing at it,EXA starts to pout.**

**"You broke my favorite blade."**

**She whines,looking at the broken tip.**

**"I'm **_**really**_** mad now."**

**She says,glaring back at Shadow. Shadow stands waiting for another attack. Instead,EXA surrenders.**

**"Oh well,you obviously won this round but,it's far from over,the nightmares will still come."**

**She says confidently,turning and picking up the broken blade tip, as she walks she is completely out of sight she turns slightly.**

**"Oh and, say "hi" to Raphael for me."**

**She adds tauntingly. Shadow watches,scowling as the woman disappears into the blackness. The sword in her hand returns to it's original **

**size and she replaces it around her neck. The other woman doesn't her eyes,she is greeted by the sight of Raph laying next to her for the **

**second night in a she snuggles up to him and falls into an uninterrupted she sleeps she dreams of Raph holding her and telling her that he **

**cares for her. **

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	3. Nightmares

**Hope you're enjoying this one,it was a bit difficult to try and get everything to fit right.**

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**Raph lay there on the bed, his hands behind his head and Shadow only inches away from him after waking mid slumber. This was the third**

**night he had spent in the same room with her, to ensure that she didn't wake screaming from anymore nightmares. Looking over at her, he **

**noticed her beginning to stir. Suddenly, her eyes fly open and she reaches out for the first thing she can touch, which happens to be Raph. **

**He can tell that she is shaking with fear and she clutches him tightly.**

**" Hold me."**

**She requests and Raph puts his arms around her. As he holds her,she snuggles close to him and begins to calm down, falling back into a**

**comfortable sleep. He continues to hold her as she sleeps and after a minute or two she whispers something.**

**"Raphael"**

**She whispers, again snuggling up to him. What she says next surprises him.**

**" I love you "**

**She whispers. Raphs heart jumps instantly and he looks at the sleeping girl in his arms. Taking a deep breath he tries to fall asleep, which is**

**difficult since he is used to his hammock. But, he manages and sleeps fairly well the rest of the night. Upon waking the next morning, he **

**finds that his arms are empty and shoots out of bed in search of Shadow. He finds her sitting with Mikey on the couch playing a video game **

**and gives a sigh of relief. After asuring that she is alright,he goes in search of Donny and finds him in the garage working on the van.**

**" Uhh, hey Don?"**

**Rolling out from under the large vehicle, Don acknowledges him.**

**"What's up Raph?"**

**Asks Don, wiping his hands with a torn rag and sitting up to look at his brother. Raph rubs the back of his neck,unsure of how to say what he**

**thinks.**

**"You know that girl whose been stayin here?"**

**Nodding, Don responds.**

**"Yeah,what about her?"**

**Raph walks over to his brother as Don goes to a workbench nearby.**

**"Well,last night I was watching her again and,while she was sleepin..."**

**Raph trails off.**

**"What happened?"**

**Don asks curiously,stopping his work to listen.**

**" Uh, she told me, she loved me."**

**Don raises an eye ridge.**

**"Are you sure it was you she meant?"**

**Don asks inquisitively, wiping more oil off of his hands.**

**"Yeah Don,she said my name."**

**Raph replies,an ounce of annoyance peaking through his voice. Don sits there silently, for a minute.**

**"Well, you **_**are**_** the one she came looking for,and you seem to be the one she's attached to so,it's possible that she means it."**

**Raph stands there in thought for a minute,recalling how his heart jumped and Don goes back to his work.**

_**' I love you'**_

**The words reverberate in his mind like the sound of a bell, and he quietly walks out of the garage and back to his room,where he finds **

**Shadow sitting,humming along to some calm music and reading. He stands there in the doorway for a long minute simply watching up from **

**her book, she flashes a warm smile at him that causes him to smile in return. A few seconds later,he enters the room and sits on the edge of **

**the bed. That night,as they lay together,Raph notices the small key charm around Shadows neck and gently takes it in his hand to inspect it **

**more closely. Lifting it from her chest,he notices the clasp within his reach and undoes it. As he looks at the charm,Shadow begins to stir a **

**bit.**

**"I hate that snivling little runt,always locking me away when **_**I'm**_** the one who should be there. I swear if I ever get a chance,I'll destroy **

**her and her friends."**

**Raph can't believe what he is hearing, it sounds almost like Shadow but, with a more desperate and devious tone and it goes on as if he **

**weren't even there.**

**" Number Thirteen,she only calls me that as an "**

**At that,the room goes quiet and Raph keeps the key charm in his hands through the whole night.**

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	4. Fear and Love

**I don't know about you guys but I think taking the necklace was a big mistake.**

* * *

**The whole day Raph noticed that** **Shadow didn't seem to be acting like herself and for some weird reason,her eyes had changed ,it was as if **

**she were a totally different person. Thinking about what he had heard the night before,Raph pondered something.**

_**' Split personality?'**_

**He couldn't be sure about anything at this point,all he knew was that this person wasn't Shadow. Later on,something bothered him about **

**the ****way his ****brothers seemed to hover around her, as though they were her guards, and the blank expressions on their faces made him a **

**little nervous.**

**So, he decided to confront the source.**

**Leo,Donny,And Mikey sat around her at the top of the stairs. Raph stood at the bottom looking up at them.**

**"Come on Raph, you look so lonely down there."**

**She tells him, seemingly anxious.**

**" We need to talk about last night"**

**" Oh,you heard what I said? I'm just having some fun."**

**Raph stood there scowling at her with his arms crossed.**

**" I'm comin up to talk to **_**her**_** NOT you."**

**Raph took a step up one of the stairs and withdrew his Sai from his belt. Mikey and Don stood and all three of them looked as though they**

**were ready to fight. Just as he expected, the higher he climbed the more he had to fight his way up. Don was the first to go after him. Not **

**wanting to hurt his brothers, he landed temporarily disabling blows to knock them out. When he came to Leonardo, he eased him down the**

**stairs before knocking him out. She stared, shocked at Raphs course of action.**

**" How could you do that to your brothers? "**

**She asked. Raph placed his hands on the landing of the stairs where she sat and looked into her eyes, with a slightly aggitated expression.**

**" They aren't my brothers if they're under **_**your**_** control, number thirteen."**

**She stared at him, slightly scared and he sat down next to her.**

**" Now,"**

**He started, crossing his arms, still looking into her eyes.**

**" There's somethin I wanna tell Shadow."**

**Suddenly, she covered her ears, closed her eyes, and began to shake her head.**

**" Don't say it, Don't say it, Don't you dare..."**

**She repeated over and over. Raph gently grabbed her shoulders,than placed the necklace back around her neck.**

**" Hey, hey, calm down."**

**He said softly. She stopped and dropped her hands but, kept her head hung. Raph lifted her head to look at her and saw that tears are **

**running down her face and her eyes had gone back to normal. She looked into his eyes, still crying, and he pulled her into a hug, holding her.**

**At first she didn't know what to do but, than she held him back. Running a hand over her hair he did his best to comfort her. As they held **

**one another, Raph whispered.**

**" Shadow,...I love you."**

**Holding him a little tighter, she continued to cry. They sat there a while longer and then pulled away to look at one another. Raph helped her **

**dry her tears and then softly pressed his lips to hers. They sank into the kiss together and wrapped their arms around each other once **

**more. When the kiss broke they noticed the others beginning to wake up.**

**" I'm glad she didn't hurt them."**

**Shadow stated, and for the first time since learning of EXA's existance, Raph saw a genuine smile cross her lips, which caused him to smile.**

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	5. Take a form

**Well,whatever your verdict,please don't flame.**

**Raphael wakes to find himself in a dark place with a single spotlight on him and a figure walking towards realizes that his Sais have been**

**taken as the figure comes into the light. It looks like Shadow but,is dressed in a long black trench coat. He knows that this thing isn't her **

**and not ****simply because of the slight differences in features. Anger begins to build up inside of him as he notices the smug look on its face **

**but, he **

**holds back his attack for the moment.**

**" What's the matter Raphael? Afraid to hit a woman?"**

**Raphael stands there, as it circles him, getting more and more pissed off at this thing that has taken the form of his girlfriend.**

**" Or, is it, that you won't hit the woman you love?"**

**His fists are balled and he stares at the floor.**

**" Your right,"**

**He begins,his voice dripping with anger.**

**" I'd never hurt the woman I love. But, there's just one problem...."**

**His head snaps up and he glares at it, eyes full of hatred.**

**" YOU'RE NOT HER!!! "**

**He lunges, fists ready to strike. It dodges his every attack with ease, landing a few non-fatal blows to his plastron. Afterall, it didn't want to**

**kill him, he was far too powerful to waste death on. Raphael hits his knees, coughing and gasping to catch his breath, thinking.**

_**' Damn,that thing is fast.'**_

**" tsk, tsk, tsk, Raphael. What would your girlfriend think if she saw you right now, or your brothers even?"**

**A false expression of surprise coming over it's face. Crouching down in front of the angered and heavily breathing turtle, it lifted his head**

**and looked him directly in the eyes. Again, the smug look coming over it's face.**

**" I bet you'd like to know where she is, wouldn't you?"**

**Raph looked into the empty, scarlet, eyes of this form in front of him. It may have looked like Shadow but, it certainly wasn't anything like**

**her. Shadow would never have raised a hand to him in anything other than self defense, and that was only during a sparring match. He had **

**to admit though, he did want to know where she was. As if the thing could read his mind, it lifted it's other hand, pointing, and a light shown **

**on a room that contained a glass wall. His gaze followed the direction in which it pointed, to the room that, he noticed was a replica of the**

**room she had at home. Shadow sat on the bed,seemingly in a trance, singing.**

**" **_**Shadow**_** "**

**He whispered, wanting her to know he was there. The thing moved his head and looked into his eyes again. **

**" She can't hear you. She's oblivious to everything around her. And as long as she keeps singing **_**my**_** music, it'll stay that way."**

**The creature stood, looking down at him shortly before sighing and shaking it's head disappointedly. Raph got to his feet and began walking**

**to the glass wall. The closer he got, the more he could hear Shadows sweet voice, hitting every note perfectly. As he placed a hand on the**

**glass, a sad song began to play on the stereo.**

**" **_**Please Shadow, stop."**_

**He didn't know what to do. Everything was up to Shadow now, but, as the vocals of the song started, so did she. The creature walked up **

**and stood next to Raph, inhaling his sorrow for it's own enjoyment. The smug smile once again plastered across it's false lips. Suddenly, to**

**both Raph and the creatures surprise, Shadows voice faded, mid note and she looked up as if she were waking from a dream. The smile on**

**the creatures face quickly faded and one appeared on Raphs.**

**" KEEP SINGING, DAMN YOU, KEEP SINGING!! "**

**The creature screamed through the glass, hitting it angrily. Shadow fell back into her singing trance for only a few seconds but, quickly**

**came out of it again. Realizing what was happening she pushed the stop button on the stereo and removed the CD it contained, throwing it**

**across the room. Frantically, she picked up her CD case and flipped through it, searching for her own music to play. The creature than**

**began to laugh.**

**" She'll never find it. I've taken it away. The song that she is looking for isn't there."**

**Raph looked at the creature, seeing a maniacal glint in it's empty eyes that sent a chill down his spine. Shadow flipped through the CD case**

**twice and then stopped for a minute to think.**

**" Wait...there's one I still have."**

**Shadow says to herself as she flips to the front of the case, pulling out a plain looking CD. Placing it into the stereo she pushes the play**

**button, hoping that it will play. Raph and the creature continue to watch, the creature becoming more angry with each of her actions.**

**" Please play, please play..."**

**Shadow repeats, sighing when it finally begins to play. She looks over at the now visible glass wall and sees Raph and the creature standing**

**there. Pushing the search button, she finds the song she wants and gives the creature a triumphant smile.**

**" NO!!!"**

**The creature screams angrily,storming away from the glass. Raph stares at Shadow and smiles. She walks over to the glass and presses**

**her hand against it where Raph has his. Looking into his eyes she says only one word to him.**

**" Roxas"**

**At hearing the name, the creature looks over it's shoulder with a scowl. Instantly, Raph understands what she means. He knew who**

**"Roxas" was. He had watched from the beginning as she played the game, Kingdom Hearts Two,explaining the small details that the game**

**designers had left out. He had followed the story of how the heartless had come into being and how they were being controlled. And he**

**understood, very well, what the "Nobodies" were and who they were part of. But, he had never expected to find himself in a situation so**

**reminiscent of it.**

**" A Nobody?"**

**He questions in response to Shadows declaration. She nods in agreement and he looks at the creature who is still standing there, scowling**

**at them over it's shoulder. Raph scowls back, one hand on the glass seperating him and Shadow. It turns away from them, stuffing one**

**hand into a pocket of the trench coat and begins to walk away. Raph wants to attack it but, as before the creature seems to read his mind.**

**" Give it up Raph, she's the only one who can do anything."**

**At that, it snaps it's fingers,causing the glass wall and the room to disappear with Shadow still standing there. Her key shaped sword **

**appears in her hand, slightly different to the one weilded by "Sora" the main character in the game. Taking one last look at Raph,Shadow **

**walks off into the darkness where the creature disappeared. He sees a stream of light shoot from one end of the room to the other and a **

**few minutes later,Shadow reappears carrying her weapon. As she stands under the light where Raph initially stood, the weapon disappears.**

**Raph walks over to Shadow, wrapping his arms around her and she wraps her arms around him. Closing their eyes, a tired feeling comes **

**over them. When Raph opens his eyes again he and Shadow are lying together in his hammock.**

**" Was it all a dream?"**

**Looking at Shadow, he smiles and kisses her lips. She stirs slightly, sighing and snuggling closer to him, putting a hand on his chest. He**

**smiles again, kissing her one more time before falling back into a comfortable sleep. As they sleep,the small key charm slips from her palm**

**and dangles from its chain. **

**"**_**Was it all a dream**_**?"**

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End file.
